Don't give me no shit because... I've been tired...

28 JUN 2004 - 8.14a
thanks to everybody who came to my party or wished me a happy birthday. i did have a good time on saturday night, but that quickly ended on sunday morning.

nobody should have to spend their birthday alone.

i taught myself how to knit, though. and later on tony took me to see fahrenheit 9/11. i would have most likely gone crazy had i stayed home alone on my birthday, knitting. thanks, tony.

supposed to go see spoon tonight. lacey backed out when paul said he'd go. dale said he'd go, too. i will be completely surprised if any of us goes.

26 JUN 2004 - 4.04p
TV party tonight!

No, not a tv party. A birthday party. FOR ME!!!

I've spent the last couple of days doing my best to help Lacey prepare for the party. I'm all cleaned and cooked and shopped O-U-T! The only thing left to do is kick back and enjoy my friends and some Blue Moon (which is becoming a birthday tradition, now that I think about it). I will also be enjoying the NINE cds that Lacey made for the party. You read it... NINE.

I just finished reading Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. It was a crazy read! I flew through it and I'm anxious to discuss it with Lacey.

Both horses were good today... Newt especially. I've been feeling a little blah about him lately. It's been so much fun teaching Lucy new things... and there's really nothing left to teach Newt. I had a pleasant ride today and jumped him a little. Lucy was a superstar as always.

Oh well. I hate everything (except for Lacey, Lucy and Newt) but I am allowed to because it's my birthday.

24 JUN 2004 - 7.46a
2 days until my party!
3 days until my birthday!
4 days until spoon in columbus!
1 week until gbv tourdates!

You know how at New Year's, Lacey and I decided that last year rotted so much that we were bound to have a MUCH better year this year? Well, I'm not sure if that's entirely true for her... but the first half of the year hasn't exactly been all roses and candy for me. I've decided that the improvement was not meant to start at the new year, and instead it will begin with my birthday... I mean, technically that is the new year for me. From June 27 on out, things are only going to get better. Right?

So... no Lollapalooza... which is fine. I really just wanted to see Modest Mouse and the thought of seeing them at Blossom wasn't entirely too appealing. Hopefully they'll go back to the cities they were supposed to play with Lollapalooza and do smaller venues or something. Kind of a little late to be planning a summer tour, though. That blows.

I've tried to have a "relaxing" week... and aside from some petty drama that was easy enough to shrug off (hey, I'm used to it!), I've only done things that aren't going to stress me out. That basically means I've done everything I would normally do except look for a job. I'm tired of looking for work and to be honest, this week has been almost like a vacation. Isn't that weird? I just wanted to have a good birthday... and now that the party is actually happening (thanks to Lacey... big thanks to Lacey!), I know I will. I don't even care if nobody shows up... I know I'm going to have a cake and I know the people I love the most will be there (if only in spirit).

22 JUN 2004 - 1.13p
Updated birthday list:

1. Tredstep Half Chaps, brown. Size 15/17.
2. This purse.
3. This one, too!
4. Pixies tickets. Akron, Columbus, or both.
5. Lollapalooza tickets for the first day.
6. These.
7. And I MUST get this book!!
8. I would also like various knitting supplies, but I guess I'd probably rather pick those up on my own.

Oh, and my party is this Saturday at Lacey's. If you think you should be there, then please come. If you think someone will beat you up, stay far away, please. Feel free to bring a gift... either something from the list above, or you can bring me beer (something good, please) or cigarettes (Parliament lights, please) or a donation for the SEND MEGHAN TO SEE SPOON IN COLUMBUS jar. Thanks!

17 June 2004 - 1.12p
Dear Diary,

This is the last entry I'll be writing from what geographers call "The Midwest". After Lacey turns in her paper titled "Are You There God? It's Me, Lacey, and I'm Having My Period For the 1st Time", we're hitting what the cowboys call "The Dusty Trail". Now, try and dry your eyes. You didn't think we'd stick around pretending to care about mingling with the commoners forever, did you?

This place is boring and pathetic and if it could be lazy, it probably would be. Have you ever heard the song "Can't Stand the Midwest" by Dow Jones and the Industrials? Well hear it and then choke on some candy while basking in it's brilliance. The bottom line is that I'm bored of this place and personally, I am way to cool to stay here for even one second longer...but I have to finish this entry. You can call it my Swan Song.

How am I doing this, you may ask, since I haven't had a job (or 2 jobs like all the local skank-bags) for awhile? Well, five seconds ago, I won a substancial amount of money in the lottery. It should make perfect sense that instead of job hunting, I was buying scratch-offs and staring into space. It all paid off in the end so EAT DIRT DOUBTERS! Who needs a job when I can spend 8 hours a day rolling around with dead presidents? And who needs a boyfriend either? My money certainly doesn't say stupid shit all day that makes my ears bleed and it buys me whatever I want. I don't want to just sit around spending boat-loads of money all day letting my college education go to waste. Maybe I'll be a poet...anybody with 2 brain cells could do it. I'll just list off my daily activities and call it art. Here is my first poem:

Monday
I got out of bed eary this morning.
I said good morning to all of my money.
What will I do for the rest of the day?
Lacey comes over dressed like a Greek millionaire.
Let's try on all of our shoes!
Consuela, make us some strawberry margaritas.
I breifly remember "The Midwest" and laugh.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Before bedtime, I say good night to all of my boyfriends:
Goodnight William McKinley.
Goodnight Benjamin Franklin.
Goodnight Ulysses S. Grant.
Goodnight Andrew Jackson.

I'm going to be a huge effing success as I wrote that while simultaneously packing my bags and booking a flight to...well, that should remain a secret. Don't worry though, I'll forward a P.O. Box address so you can send my birthday presents. The 26th anniversary of my birth is only 10 days away, you know. A big gold star should be shining on your calendars at this very moment!

Well, I'd like to say that I'll have fond memories of all of you but all I can really concentrate on are all of the cute shoes and bottles of vanilla Stoli I'll be purchasing. I think I'll buy out Starbucks AND Bob Pollard while I'm at it. I could always use a rockin' drunk at my disposal for hours of entertainment...he can serve me my coffee during sober hours. And don't worry, I'll take excellent care of Lacey. Someone should probably inform her husband that she's gone if anyone has a spare minute. If not, oh well. He'll notice eventually!

Later Squares!

Love,
Meghan.

15 JUN 2004 - 10.47a
Thanks to Paul for having a good party the other night. Thanks to Lacey for documenting the party with some really great pictures. I'm glad to see physical proof of a lot of things that I totally don't remember.

The last couple of days have been total downers. Tessa's dad's wake last night... very sad, and I hope Tessa is doing okay.

I just made an awkward call to the staffing agency regarding that interview I had the other day with the guy who googled me. Of course I didn't get the job, which I think was a given the second I laughed when the guy asked me why I'd be better at the job than somebody else... but the staffing girl was so kind as to ask what I'm looking for. Something where I can type, of course. No, actually, I told her she probably couldn't help me. So she asked me if I liked talking on the phone. I'm serious. Again, glad I got the degree to talk on the phone. I had a few more words with her, but I have a feeling they won't be calling me again. Everything is so muddled that I don't even know what I'm looking for myself anymore.

I remember a time when I did everything exceptionally well. Smart, multi-talented, well-rounded. What the hell happened to me? Maybe I got too good at typing and ignored the other stuff I used to be good at.

I need to go away or something. It's such a drag here.

12 JUN 2004 - 1.43p
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PAUL H!!!

I know Paul hardly ever uses the internet... so it probably really didn't matter that I wished him a happy birthday. But reading Lacey's blog reminded me that Paul should be recognized. I always think Paul's birthday is June 15th (I think I confuse it with Brigid's!). It's not. It's today. His party is tomorrow. Be there or be a huge nerd.

If I knew how to knit, I would make Paul a scarf for his birthday.

Oh, speaking of birthdays, I forgot to mention that the Steve Madden Pixi sandals mentioned below can be crossed off of my list. I will post an updated birthday list soon. My birthday is two weeks and a day away.

Today is a lazy day. I've already ridden Newt today and I should go out and clean stalls here or do something with Lucy... but I think I'll just relax for a while. Maybe eat some lunch now that I'm finally back to eating solid foods.

I realized that with my one missing wisdom tooth (the ghost tooth, as Lacey calls it), I am asymetrical. I'm not sure how I feel about that... I'm afraid it might make my whole world slightly askew.

11 JUN 2004 - 2.03p
My most sincere sympathies go to Tessa... her father passed away in his sleep on Thursday. I'm so very sorry, Tessa...

So, the tooth is healing well... the rest of me is kind of iffy, though. Before two this morning, I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. I paced around a bit, took some tums... and went back to bed. I got up again a short while later and threw up. It was not pleasant. I slept the rest of the night and threw up again this morning... and of course, my stomach sickness could not have come at a worse time, as I had an interview at 9:30 today. Luckily I made it through the interview and felt significantly better following it. Something I had for dinner must have not sat right with me. Blah.

Ahh, so the interview... long story short, a staffing agency that had seen my resume online contacted me a couple days ago about a position in Medina. Not exactly what I was looking for but getting my foot in the door anywhere is enough for me at this point. I went to the agency yesterday and took the standard BS customer service/typing tests. You'll be happy to know that my typing skills are quite exceptional. The girl working there was really impressed. Unfortunately the position has everything to do with answering phones and nothing to do with typing, so she really felt bad. Yes, I really wish I could fully utilize my typing skills because that's definitely why I got a college degree.

I interviewed at the company this morning and I'd like to think that it went well. The interview was very casual and I felt comfortable because the interviewer had definitely done his research on me. In doing so, he also ended up investigating gbv... it made my day to hear that he downloaded some of their songs. So, fingers crossed... I was very impressed with the company and I'm not just saying that because there is a strong potential my interviewer may be reading this. I hope that he makes the correct decision about who to hire for the position... and of course, in my humble opinion, the correct decision would be to hire me. I'm very good at answering phones and stuffing envelopes and reading books when there's nothing else to do. To do that professionally would be quite fulfilling for me... even if there isn't any typing involved.

Oh well. Shopping with Lacey soon!

08 JUN 2004 - 7.55p
Why oh why did I refuse to have my wisdom teeth out when I was in high school?

BECAUSE HAVING TEETH PULLED IS THE WORST EVER, THAT'S WHY.

My broken tooth was removed around 5p today... I went to the dentist for the first time in years and years... and he never introduced himself nor discussed my broken tooth. He walked in (after viewing my x-ray) and said, "Do you have anything to say before we pull your tooth out? You know it's going to have to get pulled, right?" Um.

So. They pulled it. I could hear things crunching and that was kind of disgusting. Luckily my face was numb enough that I didn't feel a thing. But the crunching will likely haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my life.

The good news is that there's actually enough room in my mouth for the remaining three wisdom teeth... and unless they break, there's no reason they'll have to be pulled. Hooray.

But for now... I'm miserable. The novacaine has finally worn off and there's a bloody, throbbing place in my mouth where a tooth used to be. I took a super heavy duty Motrin. I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything too hot or too cold. So I'm not really sure what to do. No smoking, no boozing, no drinking from a straw.

I want to learn how to knit. I've been told it isn't hard. I want a book on knitting... and all of the appropriate supplies. I want to knit scarves and little purses. I should add a knitting book and knitting supplies to my birthday list. I am completely serious.

Ouch.

08 JUN 2004 - 1.18p
Oh my gosh... something else I must have!! Add that to my birthday list!

So... I broke a tooth yesterday eating little pretzels. It's only a wisdom tooth, so I'm sure they'll just yank it out. I'm just so creeped out by the whole situation... broken teeth are effed up. I'm completely convinced that the piece of tooth that is still in my mouth is going to poke out of my cheek at any moment. It's sharp as a tack. OUCH.

My dog looks like a baby sea lion and I love her.

07 JUN 2004 - 10.24a
Rather than talk in detail about my weekend and more about the last Guided By Voices show in Dayton, I am going to post my birthday list. There's only 20 days until my birthday... and I want to make sure people have plenty of time to shop.

So... I want...

1. Tredstep Half-Chaps. Brown. Size 15/17.
2. This purse.
3. And this one, too.
4. Steve Madden "Pixi" sandals in natural. Probably a size 7 1/2. Maybe 8.
5. A new pair of low top Chucks. They had these tan ones at one of the department stores...
6. Pixies tickets. Akron or Columbus. Or both.
7. Lollapalooza tickets for the first day.

I'm sure I will think of more things as i go along. The first item on the list is something I really need moreso than a want. Riding is terrible for me lately because of a large hole in the knee of my custom full chaps. Feel free to email me with questions.

06 JUN 2004 - 7.52a
If my friends in Minnesota don't go to the gbv show today, I will be so sad. I don't care if it's at some lame festival. Go pay your respects.

The Dayton show was nutty. Totally nutty. It went on forever and ever... many encores... so many songs played. Bob said something about the last show being in CHICAGO!!! Tony and I were drunk and happy.

More later. I just wanted to remind people in Minnesota to see GBV before it's too late.

04 JUN 2004 - 1.22p
GBV tonight in Dayton! We're leaving in about an hour and a half. I don't know how many shows this makes for me... it's at least eleventy billion by now. I'm looking forward to it.

Another job rejection came today. It's very depressing... but at least this time they gave me a reason. It was just a temporary position, and they decided to let somebody already working for the company do the work. Great. Thanks for leaving me with eight dollars in my checking account, assholes.

So... I don't know what I'm going to do about the job thing. I'm discouraged, to say the least. Especially when the company that wants me to work for it the most is the creepiest, cult-like company in the world. IN THE WORLD! I'm not going to name any names, but if you've talked to me in the last few days, you know what company I speak of.

Today I witnessed Bobby Kitty running full speed across the basement floor only to run into the (closed) screen door. I think maybe he thought it was open and that it was a prime opportunity to escape... but instead, he bounced right off of the screen. I laughed.

Last night I hung out with my pals in Kent. Good times, indeed. First time I've seen Paul since we had the battle royale over Buffalo 66... it was good to see him. And good to hang out with Lacey, as always. She gave me my favorite kind of Pasta-Roni and I will be forever in debt to her for that.

Oh well... time to start preparing for Dayton.

01 JUN 2004 - 5.47p
WOOOOO JUNE! I can't tell you how much I love the month of June.

Thanks to Lacey for the following. I don't know how much of it is true, but it made me laugh.

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Meghan's Disease
Cause: hot weather
Symptoms: ankle swelling, hovering, whistling, urinary pain
Cure: pass it on to someone else within seven days
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis: